Stolen Bike Alert

Boys arrested for throwing rocks at cyclists in Minneapolis

Three boys who allegedly threw rocks and bits of concrete at cyclists on a popular Minneapolis bike route found themselves in trouble with police Tuesday evening.

Catherine Fairbanks, 25, and her sister, Coreana Fairbanks, 21, were biking home from work at about 5 p.m. on the Midtown Greenway bike path when both women were struck on the head as they passed under the 13th Avenue bridge.

As both women dismounted and sat down, crying in pain, several bystanders stopped to help. Some called police as Catherine's boyfriend and others tried to determine who had thrown the rocks, Catherine said Wednesday.

A few minutes later, they saw a group of three boys, ages 12 and 13, throwing small pebbles at a third cyclist from another nearby street bridge.

They confronted the boys and waited with them on the bike path for police, who arrested them on suspicion of felony assault in the second degree.

On Wednesday, Minneapolis police spokesman Sgt. William Palmer said that he did not believe the boys had been charged, but that they could be soon.

The sisters got lumps on their heads, but did not go to the hospital, Catherine said, adding that they found one projectile about the size of "a Twinkie."

The third cyclist was wearing a helmet and was not hurt, she said.

Do You Have Hipsters?

Do You Have Hipsters?

You’ve seen the warning signs, you can tell something’s not quite right—so now’s the time to do something about it. ERIC FEEZELL’s step-by-step guide on how to rid yourself of a hipster infestation.

TMN Contributing Writer Eric Feezell lives, loves, and ghostrides the whip—sometimes simultaneously—in Oakland, Calif. Occasionally, he gets around to writing humor and fiction, as well. His work has appeared at/in a variety of web and print publications. Email him here. Or, visit his web site.

 

Have you recently found yourself asking any of the following questions?

• Whose fixed-gear bicycle is that in my garage?
• Where do I keep misplacing the charger for my iPod Nano?
• Why are there vast amounts of food mysteriously not missing from my pantry and refrigerator each week?

Yes? Then, chances are, you’ve got hipsters.
Hipster infestations have become commonplace in modern times. One day, life seems completely normal. The next, you’ve got an anorexic in a train-conductor hat scurrying across your kitchen in the middle of dinner. This, understandably, can be a pretty disconcerting sight.
Not to worry, though. While hipsters can really slaughter a nice mood, they are otherwise harmless and probably just as frightened of you as you are of them. Still, they are a nuisance, of course, and need to be treated as such. Following are suggested measures to pinpoint the location of hipsters in your home, coax them out from their hiding places, and capture and return them to their natural habitats.

Zeroing in on Your Hipsters

An effective way to start your search is by identifying all the nooks and crannies wherein hipsters may hide. Most commonly these include the crack between the wall and the fridge, underneath French baguettes, behind their iPod Nanos, and between the pages of Charles Bukowski books. These are all great places to begin looking. (Note: If you are feeling brave, demand that someone justify Bukowski’s literary merit. Frequently this will prompt the hipsters to emerge, incredulous, indignant, and sometimes crying.)
Maybe they’re sitting in your living room brooding, or writing in a journal, or looking uncomfortable and ostracized. Also, hipsters prefer dank, dimly lit areas, should you have any in your abode. These provide ideal quarters for them to set up makeshift darkrooms in which they can develop the countless photographs they’ve taken with their vintage cameras. Usually, these are pictures of idled trains, abandoned bus depots, or of themselves (for their MySpace profiles).
Finally, keep a sharp eye on dressers and closets. Hipsters love tight clothing, usually on the darker, more weathered side. Have any pairs of your 14-year-old daughter’s jeans suddenly gone missing? What about her nail polish kit?
For many, this suggestion sparks additional fears: If hipsters are ransacking my daughter’s closet, how do I know they won’t cause her any undue additional (i.e., sexual) harm? Parents should rest easier knowing that most hipsters are either asexual or bi-curious. That being said, it would be a good idea to keep an eye on your son, too.

Capturing Your Hipsters

You’ve located where your hipsters are camped out—now comes the hard part.
Hipsters are freakishly antisocial; some argue it is genetic. This trait becomes especially magnified in unfamiliar or non-hip environments. So, the last thing you want to do is alienate hipsters further from society than they’ve already alienated themselves. Here are a few things you must understand before attempting to communicate with hipsters:

1. Hipsters know more about music than you do.
2. Hipsters know more about clothing than you do.
3. Hipsters know more about Charles Bukowski than you do.
4. Your sense of fashion is “fin” (bad).

Embracing these ideas as fact will not put you on the same level as hipsters—that would be ridiculous—but it will let the hipster know that you are keeping it real, which they can respect, sort of.
With that, you’ll want to open the dialogue on a fairly benign topic so as not to indicate that you mean the hipsters harm, or that you are in fact a poseur. Here are some suggestions:

• “That deck [good] Conor Oberst is signing autographs at Amoeba Records today.”
• “Check out my new tattoo!” (Or new fixed-gear bike.)
• “Anyone for a really small slice of vegan soy pizza?”

Hipsters have usually attended a liberal-arts college for at least two years, however—and are thus extremely smart—and often won’t take the verbal bait. In this situation, you must be cruel to be kind and exploit the hipster’s Achilles heel: music.
There are two approaches to smoking them out musically:

1. Play non-hip music, and play it very loudly. Remember, hipsters all have iPod Nanos, so it’s going to have to be extremely ear-shattering to overpower the sonic armor of Death Cab for Cutie. Recommended selections include anything by Kenny Rogers or Green Day, or Radiohead’s Hail to the Thief (hipsters generally agree that this is when Radiohead sold out). Really, any popular, major-label artist will do the trick.
2. Play music they enjoy, such as Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah!, the National, or Monorchid. These recordings may prove a bit harder to find, however, so there’s always the “the” band theory: the Strokes, the Faint, the Hives, the Killers, the Vines, the Bravery, et al. are usually considered deck by hipsters, despite their popular major-label status. (Note: “the The,” however, will NOT work using approach number two. See approach number one.)

When it comes to “The” bands, you might ask: Well, which one? Don’t hipsters like one better than the others? Trust us when we tell you that it isn’t going to make the slightest difference.

Returning Your Hipsters to Their Natural Environment

Hopefully by now, you’ve got the hipsters out in the open. Maybe they’re sitting in your living room brooding, or writing in a journal, or looking uncomfortable and ostracized. This is totally normal, and means you’ve done everything by the book thus far.
Yet at this stage you will likely encounter the following critical conundrum: When removing hipsters from your home, your paternal instinct may kick in at the sight of their waif-like appearances, and you will feel obligated to nourish them. Do not attempt to do this.
In the first place, it is highly unlikely you have hipster food. Kraft macaroni and cheese or microwaveable Bagel Bites will only make them angry. (Though it completely defies logic, hipsters also know more about food than you do.) Hamburger Helper is a grave insult to hipsters and will undoubtedly evoke a derisive response along such lines as, “Do you have any idea what’s in that stuff?!?” Obviously, no, you do not.
Moreover, it should be noted that hipsters’ eating cycles differ greatly from those of non-hipsters. As an example: What are the chances of you uncovering your hipster infestation on, say, the third Wednesday (or designated feeding day) of that particular month, and of having enough organic soy-based products in your fridge to feed them all? Admittedly, it would not require much. But, you have to agree, the odds are pretty slim.
The best thing for them, and for you, is to simply return hipsters to the habitat from which they came. And don’t think you can just pile into the SUV and drive them there—they will spurn you for your wanton consumerism. Get that archaic road bike out from the garage—they’ll probably buy it from you when all is said and done—and cruise them around the local arts district to coffee shops and record stores until they are all given low-paying jobs based solely on their stylish appearances and morose demeanors. Hipsters are much happier when they are poor (although you’d never know this by looking at them).
With the hipsters now returned to their milieu, you deserve a pat on the back. Keep alert for future infestations, though, and be thankful you had hipsters instead of hippies, who can lower property values and are more or less impossible to get rid of.

—Published April 21, 2006

Priceless

The dead only know one thing. It is better to be alive.

I found this

Number two? Portland must not be depressed enough yet.

Communications Department  City Hall

News Release

Contact:  Matt Laible, Communications Department, 612-673-2786

View this release online at www.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/newsroom

Minneapolis City Goals: A Safe Place to Call Home . One Minneapolis.Lifelong Learning Second to None. Connected Communities.Enriched Environment. A Premier Destination.

Minneapolis named one of the world’s top biking cities

June 24, 2009 (MINNEAPOLIS) Travel and Leisure magazine has named Minneapolis one of the world’s top biking cities. The magazine chose ten cities worldwide for its list, and just three in the United States. According to the June 2009 issue of Travel and Leisure, Minneapolis is among this elite group of bike-friendly cities in the world because it has built an infrastructure that promotes bicycling for both transportation and recreation.

Because of the bicycling improvements made in Minneapolis in recent years, it’s now the nation’s number two bike-commuting city, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Travel and Leisure refers to Minneapolis as “a case study in policy promoting bicycling as a viable means to get around.” The magazine notes designated street lanes, bike lockers, recreational trails, and winter plowing of bike trails as reasons it placed Minneapolis on its list.

Minneapolis has 83 miles of off-street bicycle paths and 40 miles of streets with dedicated bicycle lanes. Minneapolis has also been awarded the League of American Bicyclists’ Bicycle Friendly Community Award.

The U.S. Census bureau ranks Minneapolis as the number two bicycling city in the country, just behind Portland, in its comparison of how many people bike to work in the nation’s 50 biggest cities. Bicycle commuters help keep down traffic congestion in Minneapolis. Bicycling is a great workout and an environmentally friendly alternative to driving, reducing our dependence on oil and our production of greenhouse gases.

To learn more about bicycling in Minneapolis, visit the City’s bicycling Web page.

You have been notified

Must be Iron Wood…

Ahhhh

Bike Porn

New Patch kit from Knog. A little cheeky but a lot of fun.

Check’em out!

Say it ain’t so Joe

   I just found out today that an old friend has passed. Joe Bungo and I were messengers together in Pittsburgh, we mostly lost contact with each other over the years but when we did see each other (Usually at Dee’s) It was like old times all over again.

  I helped him build a single speed out of an older Raliegh Professional frame, it was blue with white panels. We found some white Sante' cranks and white Velocity rims; it was really sweet. That was more than 10 years ago but I remember how excited we were to finish it. It was hip before hip was hipster.

  Joe had a very bright face, kinda like a kitten that was playing. I really enjoyed his company and always wished we would have more time in common.

  I will really miss bumping into him.

Stolen Bike to keep a big eye out for

Stolen Bike and Kids Trailer, NE MPLS

Stolen from a garage at 11XX NE 4^th St, Minneapolis

Surly brand bike. Unmarked Long Haul Trucker model, with braze ons on fork, chainstay, and under down tube. Mostly black parts include XT/Alex Adventurer rims, XT deraileurs, ITM stem and drop bar, Continental Contact tires, WTB Siverado saddle, Ritchey seatpost. Silver Sugino triple crank. Bar end shifters. Black Planet Bike fenders. Black rear Surly Nice rack w/knog light attached. A black and orange Kryptonite u-lock was on the rack. The frame had non-standard “surly’ decals on the downtube and a black and white face decal on the seat tube. 2 water bottles, one plastic, one stainless steel. The frame was a prototype, no may have had no serial number (would be located on the underside of the frame, on the bottom bracket (crank axle casing).

Attached to the bike was a Burley Encore child trailer, black, yellow and blue. It had no front or rear reflectors (it did have wheel reflectors), and there were no wheel guards installed in front of the wheels on the frame. Inside were 2 glass baby bottles, a coil lock and a red target shopping bag with a pump, bicycle tube, and small tool kit. This trailer belonged to Max, and he used it all the time. This is a real bummer.

Stolen sometime Saturday night June 6/7.

Call with any info: Andy 651-373-2500

The Hot Tomato in the news

The News

Hot Tomato May Close Up Shop / 11 News, Grand Junction's News Leader, Eleven Minutes of Non-Stop News, No-Wait Weather, Montrose News

Hot Tomato May Close Up Shop / 11 News, Grand Junction's News Leader, Eleven Minutes of Non-Stop News, No-Wait Weather, Montrose News

Shared via AddThis

Help the Hot Tomato Fight City Hall

Sign the petition,

No Bullshit

  Have you ever been to Fruita ? Have you had Pizza at the Hot Tomato ? Then listen up, the ladies are loosing their lease and have to capitalize a move to a new location in a hurry ! So stop in and eat a lot of Pizza or shop till you drop online.

  It looks like there is no new location yet so this move wont be cheap. It reminds me of Shockspital this winter.

So go here, then go here !

A beacon to lead you home… (its not me)

Is there anything that Decorah ain’t got?

Decorah hosts first annual Iowa Goat Conference June 20
The first annual Iowa Goat Conference is Saturday, June 20, at the Danan Lansing building on the Winneshiek County Fair Grounds in Decorah.
Featured speakers include Dr. Paul Plummer, DVM, from the Iowa State University College of Veterinary
Medicine; Dr. Jim Warren, small ruminant animal nutritionist; Terry Hopper, Dairy Lab Services, Dubuque; and
Eric Finch, president of the Iowa Meat Goat Association.
The program starts at 9 a.m.
The conference opens at 8:30 a.m. and concludes at 3:30 p.m. Door prizes will be awarded and lunch will be available on the grounds from the Amish School Board and the New Hampton FFA.
For more information contact, Dale Thoreson at 319-267-2707 or Sue Larson at 563-380-0748.

Happy Anniversary

This mornings news

Police Department  130 City Hall  350 S. 5th St.

                           Minneapolis, MN 55415

News Release

Contact:

Sgt. Jesse Garcia III  612-919-9023 jesse.garcia@ci.minneapolis.mn.us

Sgt. William Palmer  612-919-9362 william.palmer@ci.minneapolis.mn.us

TO PROTECT WITH COURAGE / TO SERVE WITH COMPASSION

Bicycle versus truck accident closes Park Avenue

May 20, 2009 (MINNEAPOLIS)  At approximately 7:40 a.m. officers in the First Precinct responded to a report of an accident at the intersection of 14^th Street East and Park Avenue South.  When the officers arrived they found that the accident involved a semi tractor pulling a large dump box and a bicyclist.  The bicyclist was deceased. 

The cause of the accident is under investigation by the Minneapolis Police Department’s Traffic Unit and the Minnesota State Patrol’s Commercial Vehicle Enforcement Unit. 

The identity of the victim will be released by the Hennepin County Medical Examiner’s office.

Currently Park Avenue South is closed at 15^th Street East.  East Fourteenth Street is also closed from East Grant Street to Park Avenue South.   These closures will remain in effect for one to two hours while the accident investigation continues.  Motorists should avoid the area as there is already congestion surrounding the accident site.

The PIO contact for this incident is Sgt. William Palmer.

Fruitarded

Check er out

We have special customers

Get a bigger wrench…

I am about to take a trip down easy street… I knew as long as I continued to be a nice guy a golden opportunity would come my way. So long suckers, I never liked most of you any way!! This email is my golden ticket to Republicanism!!!

Dearest,
I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart. My name is Hellen  Justin Yac , 24yrs old, female and I held from South Sudan. I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart.  My father Dr. Justin Yac Arop was the former Minister for SPLA Affairs and Special Adviser to President Salva Kiir of South Sudan for Decentralization. My father Dr. Justine Yac and my mother including other top Military officers and top government officials had been on board when the plane crashed on Friday May 02, 2008.
You can read more about the crash through the below site:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7380412.stm
After the burial of my father, my uncle conspired and sold my father's properties to one Chinease Expatriate and live nothing for me.  One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I traveled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money so that I can start a better life and take care of myself. On my arrival, the Branch manager of the Bank whom I met in person told me that my father's instruction to the bank was the money be release to me only when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas.
I am in search of an honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him to the Bank for transfer of the money to his bank account overseas. I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray  my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well,  I will say that my mind convinced me that you may be the true person to help me. More so, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncle have threaten to assassinate me. The amount is $10.9Million and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso. You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country.
However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies.  It is my intention to compensate you with 15% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your interest in helping me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Please do keep this only to your self. I beg you not to disclose it till i come over because I am affraid of my weaked uncle who has threatened to kill me.
Sincerely yours,
Hellen Justin Yac

Be there or be lame

It’s not mine…

Tis is Julies new favorite website

Ellie got her bike back

http://www.shockspital.com/blogspital/2008/08/damsel-in-stolen-bike-distress.html

 

Mr Domeier is a hero!

 

And It also looks like this one has just been recovered…

 

http://www.shockspital.com/blogspital/2008/09/stolen-bike-this-one-is-easy-to-spot_16.html

 

Things are looking up unless you are a thief.  This means that every bike but Jason Brandts Spectre has been recovered.

 

Here is a new one to look for:

 

“As for the bike that was stolen here is the info.

2006 Giant roadbike OCR 3 Women's XS  
the frame is 42cm and silver in color
there is a rack on the back
a couple stickers: Recycle or Die, YinYang symbol, and a purple one
 
It was stolen on 3/26/09 between 11am and 1pm outside the Uptown YWCA. “

Are you ready for Fruita?